It's a vampire book. A badly written one, too. Sorry if this is biased-- it's going to be. Anyway, back to it, it starts with 17-year-old (or 18? I don't fuckin' know/care) Bella Swan, who is moving from Phoenix, Arizona to Forks, Washington. Somehow, there's a shitload of “beautiful” and “gorgeous” vampires there; an entire family at that. In comes Edward Cullen, the “hot” guy of the school who ignores all the chicks anyway, so no one can get him. Why is he at school anyway?! He's a fucking vampire. Okay... before I get too angry-- back to the plot (or lack there of):

So Bella and Edward fall in love. And it's totally just because Bella thinks Edward is hot, and Edward likes her because he can't read her mind. You wanna' know why? It's because of the simple fact that Bella is fucking brain-dead. She has no mind. There, I saved you about 1,600 pages of shit.

If you can't already tell, I do not like Twilight. In fact, I am strongly opposed to it. Not only is it cliché, overly credited, and just shit... it's also is a terrible influence. Twilight is a book originally for “young adults”, even though the content is so simple-minded and comprehensible, that second graders are reading it. So, if girls are reading this, naturally they'll look up to Bella Swan. They really shouldn't because Bella is the perfect example of the co-dependent girlfriend. She's extremely dependent, has to run everything by her boyfriend, feels that her boyfriend is was prettier than her... You know what? They actually mentioned Edward's “beauty” over 50 times in Twilight alone. Don't even try to count all the times she says it in the series as a whole. All this bullshit is just going to make girls think they aren't good enough, and need to be some brain-dead, co-dependent retard to actually get a boyfriend.

Furthermore, why is it that these idiots fall in love after just two weeks? It's very evident that neither of them ever had a formal conversation to even get to know each other. “Hey, Bella, what do you like to do?” “I like to cling on to my boyfriends and play damsel in distress” “Oh. No thanks.” You see? A simple conversation like that could have easily prevented this entire monstrosity of mediocre vampire love-stories.

Now on to the movie: The movie was probably way worse than the book (and that's pretty bad.) The acting was terrible, it's set up very poorly, and they didn't even get the book right anyway. Yes, I read the book. Yes, I did see the movie. Both are so immensely lame and cliché.

Everything about Twilight I feel is so stupid and cliché and I wonder how all this hype came out from it. There are so many other deserving authors that do a way better job than this mediocre Stephenie Meyer. The few moments where it is the slightest bit creative, it's just fucking moronic. VAMPIRES DO NOT FUCKING SPARKLE. And the whole thing about having to take apart the entire vampire's body and burning it is pointless. I remember the days where all you had to do was drive a stake through their heart.

Also, why are all the vampires today such pansies? Not just Edward Cullen, but every other vampire out there. I find it stupid that something as retarded as Twilight comes out and now everything I see is about some lame, douche-y, pansy vampire falling in love with some Mary-Sue (if you don't know what a “Mary-Sue” is, look it up on either Wiki or Urban Dictionary.) Do I have say this as well? I guess so.

VAMPIRES ARE MONSTERS. THERFORE, THEY CANNOT FEEL LOVE OR ANY OTHER EMOTION.

So, not just Twilight, but all those other vampire films/books you see today, over half of them are just over-romanticizing vampires, making them seem like perfect beings and something to envy. No, you're supposed to be afraid of them. They are monsters. Get this through your heads right now.

Interview With The Vampire is a very classic novel written by Anne Rice, and I think it was then, that these pansy vampires started coming. Her Lewis character was torn from being a vampire, and wished so much not to be a monster and a killer. This was great at the time it came out, but since then, this idea has been overused and has now just spawned garbage you people today like to call literature and cinema. I understand that things become over-used because they work. But you know, if you use a light-bulb too much, it burns out. The same can be said about literary ideas and concepts.

So where have all the vampires gone? These aren't vampires. They're pansies. Pansies. You know, I read 'Salem's Lot by Stephen King. Those are vampires. They'll bit your fucking head off and not care whether or not you'd been sleeping with them before they became vampires. They're monsters. How they should be. Also, I remember back when I loved vampires (before this bullshit happened), I was always called a freak, or people told me I was weird. Now they're popular. Gee, thanks Twilight. This is exactly like what happened with me and The Beatles when Across the Universe came out (except that was a great movie. I just hate how people thought The Beatles were lame until then. They were never lame. They're GOD.)

In conclusion of this anti-Twilight and anti-vampire blog, I want to say that these vampires are just getting in the way of true talent and pop-culture gems. So, please, go on reading your Twilight if you must, but there are so many other more deserving, more creative authors that deserve that praise it has.

_Camille.